I'm going to start off by saying that being 35 years old is weird... I kind of feel like I am stuck in some sort of mid life version of that Britney Spears song "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman". On one hand I still feel like the person who could stay up until 3 a.m and take 4 tequila shots, but on the other hand I know I would, worse case scenario, die or, best case scenario, end up wishing I was dead for 2 days if I tried that now. Being in my 30's has ended up feeling like some sort of crazy transitional period.
I definitely feel like my personal style has evolved since hitting my 30's. I'm positive that motherhood has played a big role in that as well. Becoming a Mommy was almost like starting from scratch; like adulthood's new puberty or something. My body changed, and things I was comfortable in were no longer comfortable anymore. I was in a new mom rut, you guys. I abandoned pants with buttons, and leggings were my new best friend. All my time and energy was spent supporting this tiny new life, and I was a-okay with that for a while. I also gained A LOT of weight during my pregnancy. 75 pounds to be exact. I never lost all of it after Nugget was born. I carried around 30 extra pounds for 2 years after she was born. Mid way through that 2 year period I started feeling like it was time to get my groove back. I had to figure out who I was as a person again after I had devoted every ounce of myself into being "Ava's Mommy". I needed to figure out who Cassandra was again. The thing I learned is that I was never going back to who I was before becoming a 30 something mom. I was the same, but I was different if that makes any sense. If you are a mom though, of course it makes sense.
The first step of my personal style journey was discovering LuLaRoe. I know the response to the brand is a mixed bag. People either love it or hate it. There doesn't seem to be a lot of in between. For me though, LuLaRoe was a godsend at the time. You mean, I can look cute and be comfortable? Sign me up. I was fully into the cult of LuLaRoe. I was stalking Facebook pages looking for Unicorn patterns. I was hosting my own pop ups so I could earn free stuff. I was snatching up ALL THE THINGS!!! My closet was bursting with clothes. My husband was concerned for our bank account. I needed to rein it in, and I needed to find some balance. I had lost those quirks to my personal style that made me, well, ME! I looked like a walking LuLaRoe advertisement.
I combed through some of my old pieces that I had hung on to. Of course they were too small, but the essence of my style was still there. There was lots of black, animal print, stripes, distressing, and vintage. I compared it to the LuLaRoe that I had been buying with a frenzied pace over the past year, and I found that the new didn't really have a common thread at all. It was a random hodgepodge of things that I thought I liked at the time, but in reality what I loved was the novelty of it. I had loved that slightly rock and roll style with a dash of vintage before my pregnancy, and I found that I was still drawn to it in my 30s. That, my friends, is because it's the core of what I seek in my personal style. I had to weave that back into my new quest for comfort and mom appropriate things.
The first thing I did was I went through all the LuLaRoe with an objective eye. I weeded out anything that didn't feel like me, and well it was a lot of stuff. I found that I was impulse buying, and with LuLaRoe that can be a real problem. Since there is no guarantee of seeing the same pattern twice I was experiencing serious FOMO, and that had to stop. I found that when I was done I had a nice selection of solids, stripes, and classic patterns like animal prints and florals. Nice florals though, not the ones that look like a bad acid trip (if you shop LuLaRoe you know what I am talking about). I started mixing in the new with the old, and I found that I had a new look that was still the old me, but it was evolved for the person I had became.
For me, I had always equated Mom style with being relaxed to the point of not caring, but since becoming a Mom I have discovered thats not the case. Now, Mom Style is being stylish while still being able to execute my responsibilities as a mother. I found that I could look styled and put together, but still able to tend to Ava. It was my epiphany. I was ready for change. I was also ready to be able to wear my wedding ring after almost 3 years. You see it hadn't fit in that long due to the weight gain . Me and the Hubs decided to get healthy starting January the 1st (You know, a resolution 😏). The thing is, when you are ready for change, and its motivated by something other than vanity, you tap into this hidden well of determination. I wanted to be healthy for my daughter. I wanted to set a good example so that she could see what healthy self care looks like. I wanted to be able to wear the ring that had so many emotional ties to it. The pounds started to come of. Here we are, 5 months later, and I can wear my rings again and I can put on pants with buttons and zippers.
So, here I am, finally catching my stride in this 30's thing. I still love my LuLa, but I also love distressed jeans and a great vintage find. I found ways to make all these things work together, and I think that I am pulling it off! See, one of the most amazing things about being 35, is this new found confidence that I have (well, except for that time 2 weeks ago that I decided to shop at American Eagle, but thats another story for another blog post 😂). I feel strong and capable in my 30's, and that is something that I never had in my 20's. I finally feel that I am ready to pick up this blog again and share my journey with y'all. I can't wait to see what my future brings.
xoxo,
Cassandra
